There is just something about the darkness of the night that helps clear/distort your thoughts. I know that sounds like a contradiction, but the fact you are alone and its silent and the world is asleep means that its literally you and your thoughts. However the creeping wave of sleep distorts your thoughts and makes your thoughts warped. As if they are no longer straight, but instead, curved. Veering off towards a different conclusion than your original one.
Needless to say. I have a question. Actually this blog is mostly about questions really, because questions and answers intrigue me. I suppose when I think most, it is because I have a question unanswered and my mind constantly works about finding an answer.
Anyway, here is my question: If I think I like someone new and they're a friend, yet I don't know them that well, should I risk asking them out?
Like, when should a friend become more than a friend?
The thing is, if you make them more than a friend, can the break up leave you not wanting to talk to them anymore? Can it possibly leave this layer of awkward that is just unexplainable tension between the two?
But then again, if you don't make them more than friends, they might find someone else and my chance will be lost. Not only that but, what if they're "the one"?
I don't really believe in 'the one' crap. Some people are compatible and others aren't. There is no 'the one'. no-one will be able to completely understand you unless they seen everything you've seen and yeah, now I'm rambling. Point is that its so unlikely for you to find someone completely perfect for you, there is no point looking for them. My theory is if you can find someone 80% perfect and the 20% thats not perfect is tolerable then, that's a good match.
Anyway, I've spent enough time on this computer and its time for bed :P (well it was time for bed last night but I'm finishing the post now)
bye
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
A few thoughts and a poem
I guess you can't escape your own feelings. You can escape your distracting household. You can escape your distracting school. You can go somewhere where you have no distractions but your own thoughts. Yet it is those thoughts that distract me. So I wrote this:
I saw your face,
Gazed into your eyes,
I felt something I knew,
Quite by surprise.
But the feeling wasn't the same as before,
It was subtle, incomplete, unsure.
I didn't quite know how I felt.
It's harder to feel when sore.
There's no doubt you're pretty,
There's no doubt you're cool,
But the agony she caused me,
That break up, slow, cruel.
I'm fragmented, broken apart,
Slowly coming back to a whole,
I'm sorry if I'm strange or slow,
The past still takes its toll.
But here, there's a piece of me,
That's willing to start anew,
I'm willing to love again,
But my question is, are you?
I saw your face,
Gazed into your eyes,
I felt something I knew,
Quite by surprise.
But the feeling wasn't the same as before,
It was subtle, incomplete, unsure.
I didn't quite know how I felt.
It's harder to feel when sore.
There's no doubt you're pretty,
There's no doubt you're cool,
But the agony she caused me,
That break up, slow, cruel.
I'm fragmented, broken apart,
Slowly coming back to a whole,
I'm sorry if I'm strange or slow,
The past still takes its toll.
But here, there's a piece of me,
That's willing to start anew,
I'm willing to love again,
But my question is, are you?
Monday, November 1, 2010
An update and some philosophy
So lately a lot of stuff has been going on. Just to name a few things since last time I posted:
1. I broke up with Samantha
2. I've been studying for exams
3. I've done my english exam
4. I won an award for my film called "The Tart" (Best sound in Monash film festival)
5. My film got into BUFTA which is a national film festival
6. I have procrastinated....A LOT
7. I've got a bit obsessed with Magic the Gathering again
8. Chime choir has happened again :)
I'm love to ramble on about all of these but I'm gonna keep it short. Right so here goes:
1. Yes I broke up with Samantha. No, I don't remember the exact day. Does it really matter? Probably not. What happened? In a way, I'm still wondering. She basically said that she never really knew what love was and that she was lying to herself by saying she loved me. She asked if we could just be friends. Yes it hurt, but it was strangely liberating. When we broke it off I didn't feel too bad as all I had felt was pain and hurt because she kept me away. When she basically said Lets just be friends the pain and hurt kinda melted away has I didn't have to go through it because she was my girlfriend. It was very strange. Though I must have been in denial as the pain and hurt came back later and told me I still wanted her....
Since then I've moved on.
2.I've been studying for exams. English was great, but I haven't been studying much for Lit and its NOT GOOD.... Time just seems to float by.
3.English was good. Challenging but managable. Had a good talk with Mr. Bowen before it though. Apparently he wasn't good at school and it wasn only his year in the army that made him 'click' and become who he is today. Fascinating story.
4.What more to say but WOOHOO! Wish I'd spent more time on it though. It could have been better.
5. Free trip to Queensland to BOND Uni on the gold coast :) Shame it's on the tail end of schoolies, but whatever I'm GOING TO QUEENSLAND AND ITS ALL FREE :)
6.Procrastination leads to me being really proactive. I've moved all the bricks from the front lawn to the backyard. I've created about 8 or 9 pokemon. I've come up with new animation ideas and created about 6 magic decks out of the cards already published and 10 magic cards i designed. I've made a song on audicity using just my voice. In fact I seem to have done everything BUT study so eeerrgh.
7. Magic obsessed. It happens when I'm stressed about something I'm trying to avoid.
8. Woot Chime choir. Sitting in a room filled with great singers and nice people. It's really fun. Makes me seriously consider a career as a singer.
That's my brief update. I'll leave you all with something deep to think about.
How does one attain Wisdom?
The Pearls of Wisdom is a phrase I have heard somewhere, and so I have divided up the gaining of wisdom into 4 'Pearls', which, once aquired, will make you wiser.
Pearl 1: Wariness
The ability to see a situationand all your options that you can use to respond to the situation. You must also be wary of those around you and their options and how your actions may affect them.
Pearl 2: Limit
The ability to know your limitations and full potential as well as the potential and limits of those around you.
Pearl 3: Restraint
The ability to provide the right amount of a certain solution in order to fix a problem properly.
You must know how much power/pressure to apply or how much you must praise/uphold a person or situation in order to fix or relieve a problem.
Pearl 4: Value
The ability to weigh up your options and what you have in order to determine what is worth the most and what matters to you.
Remember, Wisdom is subjective, and is mostly achieved through constant trials, the ability to self reflect and self analyse and common sense. However we can learn and become wise through others and their experiences, so it doesn't take a life time in order to become wise enough to live a good life. Though a little extra wisdom never goes astry.
Speaking of which in regards to exams I must be more wary of my lack of knowledge and writing speed and more wary of the approaching exam. I must realise my potential to do well and restrain myself from procrastination. I do this because I value my own success.
1. I broke up with Samantha
2. I've been studying for exams
3. I've done my english exam
4. I won an award for my film called "The Tart" (Best sound in Monash film festival)
5. My film got into BUFTA which is a national film festival
6. I have procrastinated....A LOT
7. I've got a bit obsessed with Magic the Gathering again
8. Chime choir has happened again :)
I'm love to ramble on about all of these but I'm gonna keep it short. Right so here goes:
1. Yes I broke up with Samantha. No, I don't remember the exact day. Does it really matter? Probably not. What happened? In a way, I'm still wondering. She basically said that she never really knew what love was and that she was lying to herself by saying she loved me. She asked if we could just be friends. Yes it hurt, but it was strangely liberating. When we broke it off I didn't feel too bad as all I had felt was pain and hurt because she kept me away. When she basically said Lets just be friends the pain and hurt kinda melted away has I didn't have to go through it because she was my girlfriend. It was very strange. Though I must have been in denial as the pain and hurt came back later and told me I still wanted her....
Since then I've moved on.
2.I've been studying for exams. English was great, but I haven't been studying much for Lit and its NOT GOOD.... Time just seems to float by.
3.English was good. Challenging but managable. Had a good talk with Mr. Bowen before it though. Apparently he wasn't good at school and it wasn only his year in the army that made him 'click' and become who he is today. Fascinating story.
4.What more to say but WOOHOO! Wish I'd spent more time on it though. It could have been better.
5. Free trip to Queensland to BOND Uni on the gold coast :) Shame it's on the tail end of schoolies, but whatever I'm GOING TO QUEENSLAND AND ITS ALL FREE :)
6.Procrastination leads to me being really proactive. I've moved all the bricks from the front lawn to the backyard. I've created about 8 or 9 pokemon. I've come up with new animation ideas and created about 6 magic decks out of the cards already published and 10 magic cards i designed. I've made a song on audicity using just my voice. In fact I seem to have done everything BUT study so eeerrgh.
7. Magic obsessed. It happens when I'm stressed about something I'm trying to avoid.
8. Woot Chime choir. Sitting in a room filled with great singers and nice people. It's really fun. Makes me seriously consider a career as a singer.
That's my brief update. I'll leave you all with something deep to think about.
How does one attain Wisdom?
The Pearls of Wisdom is a phrase I have heard somewhere, and so I have divided up the gaining of wisdom into 4 'Pearls', which, once aquired, will make you wiser.
Pearl 1: Wariness
The ability to see a situationand all your options that you can use to respond to the situation. You must also be wary of those around you and their options and how your actions may affect them.
Pearl 2: Limit
The ability to know your limitations and full potential as well as the potential and limits of those around you.
Pearl 3: Restraint
The ability to provide the right amount of a certain solution in order to fix a problem properly.
You must know how much power/pressure to apply or how much you must praise/uphold a person or situation in order to fix or relieve a problem.
Pearl 4: Value
The ability to weigh up your options and what you have in order to determine what is worth the most and what matters to you.
Remember, Wisdom is subjective, and is mostly achieved through constant trials, the ability to self reflect and self analyse and common sense. However we can learn and become wise through others and their experiences, so it doesn't take a life time in order to become wise enough to live a good life. Though a little extra wisdom never goes astry.
Speaking of which in regards to exams I must be more wary of my lack of knowledge and writing speed and more wary of the approaching exam. I must realise my potential to do well and restrain myself from procrastination. I do this because I value my own success.
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