Poem - The Knight and the Damsel

The Knight and the Damsel

Dear friend, dear friend,
Dear friend of mine.
Sometimes I think I know,
What's in your muddled mind.

There are times at which,
I think I see,
What you want,
And what you want of me.

But then you say "I want you"
And next you say "I'm scared"
Yet you cling to me so deperately,
Because your dream has teared?

You have a knight, a noble one,
One of grace and trust,
But his shine can't compare to mine,
And neither can his thrust.

But I don't want to duel him down.
I might have tried to, once.
But my wits are sharper than my sword,
So I lost my ignorance.

But it's not all that's gone,
Another has evolved,
As my ignorance turned to wisdom,
My love for you dissolved.

It pains me to say it,
For it is sad but true.
Now I have no more love,
I only lust for you.

I even think I told you once.
I told you I not playing that game.
But you want me to play so much,
Because the world you're in is so tame.

I'm all for satisfaction,
But this is a trap.
I'd satisfy my body, not my heart,
Where's the real stisfaction in that?

My vision that keeps me shining,
My idea of what I want to be,
Would be contradicted and destroyed,
If I fulfilled your fantasy.

I know you long for someone else,
But that someone cannot be me.
You've got filled hands, an empty heart,
But that is all you see.

Lunch time FTW!

Lunch time is probably one of my favourite times of the day. It is good because it is only ever either busy (Due to family relatives coming over for a good time)or very peaceful and calm. And at lunch time all your thinking about is lunch. which is good.

It's better than dinner because at dinner you also feel inclined to sit round a table with your family and listen to what everyone has done that day. While this might seem better than lunch due to the social experience of your loving family, anyone who has lived in a family like mine (even for a day) would know dinner table conversation often ends up in a fight, an arguement, someone complaining about something you don't care about or people are too tired and grumpy to have a proper civilised meal. In addition, dinner conversation is completely subject to the what good shows are on the telly. If a good show is on, dinner table conversation will be completely muted in favour of whoever's face is on the screen. (However, in televisions defence, at least the face on the TV doesn't argue with you).

Lunch time, unlike other meals of the day, offers quiet time for reflection and idea generation, which as a creative thinker I find very valuable. It is at times like lunch time where I can come up with stories and concepts that help me realise things about myself and who I am. For some strange reason, lunch time is where these ideas come to me most clearly, and it is due to this personal phenomenon lunchtime gives me a greater amount of satisfaction in comparison to any other meal time.

Due to lunchtime I re-realised my belief that people are fundamentally good and that I have faith in humanity. I like making stories and coming up with ideas that make people value the world that they live in. Ultimately we're stuck in this world, so why focus on the negative if you don't have a positive to work towards? This is why I want people to see the positives in their live and appreciate them and I want to include that into all the creative work I do.

I hope by reading this you'll realise the value in a time of the day you probably didn't really think much about before. So, next time you find yourself munchin on deliciousness at (close to) midday, take a moment to admire the time you have to think.

In short, lunchtime FTW!

My conceptual Infinity.

Okay, so some of you might know that one of the concepts in a comic of mine (which I haven't drawn yet) is a concept called "Infinity".
I created the concept of infinity due to my belief that (at the time I made it) god shouldn't favour anything it creates over another thing it creates. Also, I thought that god should make sense and shouldn't confuse people, in the sense that it should want things of us without also giving us a reason.


The result:"Infinity"

"Infinity" is everything. It is everything and nothing at all times. It is constantly destroying and creating everything. It exists in all demensions and takes up all space and yet no space. It grows and shrinks at the same time. It contains all knowledge about everything.

Things about infinity:
1. It cannot have a point or a perspective on anything. It sees every possible perspective and hence it cannot be biased. Opinions can only be formed with some sort of bias. Therefor it cannot have an opinion.
2. It thinks about everything and yet it forgets everything constantly in the same instance.
3. In a sense infinity is more like a collection of everything and it doesn't really have a conscience or a conciousness. Conciousnesses exist within it, but it as a whole doesn't have a collective one.
4. Due to that it contains knowledge and thoughts, but it doesn't think.
5. Time exists within it and it controls the things within it. However time as a whole doesn't affect infinity. This is how its creation and destruction of things can come in waves in certain areas where time (that it created) is slowing itself down, yet somewhere else in Infinity time is probably getting faster.
6. Infinity isn't bound by the laws of the Universe, however the things it creates are. For example, Infinity isn't affected by gravity, however if it creates a planet, that planet will have a gravitational pull.
7. If infinity does bind itself through the laws of the universe, it can and will unbind itself from those laws. In addition it will simultaniously loosen those laws somewhere else within it.

Now I hope you have grasped that concept for the most part. This is how my brain made sense of how a biased god actually exists.
Step 1: Infinity creates something with a conciousness, they ability to create and the ability to survive live. It then creates space within Infinity where Infinity can't create or destroy things within it naturally (think of it like a barrier, if the barrier is broken then the space is subject to infinity's normal creation/destructive randomness). Then the Being that was created by infinity creates the rest of the universe how its biased self sees fit.

That is how I made sense of what I saw to be a flawed god. I actually really like the concept.

This made me happy

Frommy good friend Adrian:
"anyway bud, world is full of cynics who assume a positive outlook means you are just some stupid kid, you just gota prepare for trouble, make sure you ignore it all and do what you want, when you gotta family make it double, cause the person you are when you date should be who you stay, to protect your world from devestation.
Try not to be too offensive and unit all people within your nation not divide and create hate, because the bad that is found in truth and love is always better than living a lie, so extend your reach to the stars above and try and live life to the full at the speed of light with your positive outlook, just remember, when everything goes wrong don't surrender now prepare to fight
Meowth thats right"

So its official

Believe it or not, the new GF and I have broken up.

Yes. Officially.

Why?

She didn't really have time for a relationship.

Do I detect a sense of deja vu? (Rebecca and Max?)
Oh well. I guess this is life for you. When life gives you goodness, take it. When it gives you shit, take it graciously then discard it carefully when you're alone.

What do I feel? Well simply its a mix of disappointment due to not being able to do everything I envisioned and "Figures". Yes, I expected this somewhat. I knew as soon as she told me that she was so busy, I knew I'd never be able to spend time with her.
Which is why, stupidly, I texted her almost daily to see if I could see her.

The problem is, I really like her and I still want to get to know her better. She seems so cool and I know, if given the chance, we can be really good friends. (Or more than friends is what I hoped)

It's such a shame that time was what ended this. I really didn't want it to end this way. While I think at the moment I'd rather have had a massive fight, I know I'm not thinking rationally. But I'm not satisfied with this...

And that means its gonna be harder for me to get over this.

What does one do in this situation? Bite the bullet. Let it go and just continue with life. Life has this amazing tendency to give you enough to make you happy for awhile and then undermine it. When life gives you the finger, there is no point getting angry. You can't fight life. It'll only punish you. You've just gotta take it in your stride and continue.

My older sister believes that if the GF didn't have time for me and won't make time for me then she's not worth it. In a way I think she's right and yet at the same time, I think she's wrong.

I just hope that eventually the now Ex2 will still want me and then she'll have time for me and then all my hopes and plans won't got to waste.
Anyway, its late and I should sleep. I'll catch you all later.

Jonathan,
Signing out.

What we might not know about Charlie Sheen

Hey everyone, I've been watching a lot of Charlie Sheen interviews lately and several thoughts as to why he is acting the way he is came to me.

Here is the list:

1. His mind is actually programmed to run 4 times faster than normal people's minds. However this has caused him to be particularly spontanious and implusive due to the fact his mind hasn't been adjusted to be able to process all the stuff that comes out of his mouth.
2. He's secretly the love child of Chuck Norris and a tiger.
3. He's a super powered extraterestial from Mars, much like superman.
4. He's the Messiah of Scientology "I'm
5. He won "the game". "I'm Bi-Winning!"
6. He watched this and started mimicing Karl. (Two and a half Llamas)
7. He has a telepathic connection with the sun, who is controlling his mind due to the fact that its very lonely in space and the sun never really gets to party. This is the fuel for his "passion"
8. He's become addicted to video games
9. He drunk a can of powerthrist.
10. He's been having dreams that he's a fighter jet, and due to his lack of sleep he now can distingush between his dreams and reality. "I will destroy you in the air and deploy my ordanence to the ground" Perhaps he's made of biceps?

Charlie Sheen, your better on the net than you ever were on two and a half men.
Hope you life turns into the life you want it too.

Some more poetry

I find that whenever I get too tired depressing poetry seems really easy to write. So this if what I wrote yesterday night.

The New Love

His love's more fear than love,
His eyes show passion and pain.
He's loving cause he's hurting.
He's loving to feel sane.

He hasn't felt the same,
Since the first one walked away.
She walked off on rainbows,
His world's now filled with gray.

And so he loves me desperately.
He kisses me in haste,
He touches me softly, yet frantic,
Hoping this isn't a waste.

I know he's craving colour.
He wants his colour back.
She gingerly stole it from his heart,
And its slowly turning black.

And while I love this man,
I don't know what he sees.
Does he love me for me?
Or the fantasy he needs?


And to contrast my depressing one, a poem for hope.

I Want

I want a girl who knows me,
I want a girl who cares.
I want a girl whose interesting.
Who'll catch me unawares.

I want a girl who loves,
who'll hug me whenever she can,
who'll tell me that I'm lovely,
Who'll think that I'm her man.

Who'll tell me there is no one else,
Who'll show it through who she is,
Who'll tell me she wants to be my wife,
Who says that, for me, she loves.



For the record, I like the first one, but I think the second is rather rubbish. But its here.