A lazy afternoon ramble

Note to readers, I'm kinda just gonna go blaaaaah and say what ever comes to mind, so this is pretty much pure ramble. I hope it's interesting.

Ever had on of those afternoons that feel like they are going forever and yet you get nothing done, so it seems like it didn't even happen? This is one of those afternoons. I'm a little drowzy, so thats probably a factor. But time seems so strange. It's not quite tangible and yet it's so precious. Why is it all these lonely afternoons feel like days and the hours I spend with people I enjoy spending time with feel like minutes?
I wish i could spend this drowzy afternoon with Samantha. Heck, I wish I could spend my life with her at the moment. I get so lonely and so lost in these afternoons. Yes, very lost. My thoughts just don't seem to congregate like normal. They're like clouds. They drift by, very slowly and when I try to gather them they just waft through my fingers....It's very annoying.
And life seems so monotonous. Its just get up. Go to school. Try to concentrate and understand everything in school and then get home and do what? Homework. Every night. I'm so envious of my dad who just goes to work and returns and doesn't have to do anything. And I'm not even doing anything I really want to do except Viscom, which is working on my card game. But even that...I only have myself to motivate myself, so its really difficult to do on a continuous basis.
And being a teenage boy is frustrating sometimes... Hormones are silly. They give you the desire for things even when you have no way to fulfil those desires...and it's so distracting..
And I honestly think that this life I have is not the proper way to live. If this was the right way to live, would I be second guessing myself so often? Would I be able to find such faults in it? Would people even be able to stuff up the world if it was the right way to live?
This is probably why I like the idea of being in a tribe so much. Tribes only had to worry about getting food and other tribes. They didn't have to worry about money or getting work in on time or having the right clothes to wear. They didn't have to worry about body image and they didn't have to worry about getting good grades. All they needed to be was strong, smart at getting food and needed to think about who they'd like to mate with. Live seemed so simple... You didn't have to understand maths or why red and green are oppositional colours. You didn't need facebook to talk to people. You'd simply hang out with them if you liked them. There are no goodbyes if you don't want them.
However there are definitely some things I like about this world we live in. Music is amazing and creating stories and dreaming is definitely part of the right way to live. It makes me feel so good and there are never reprocussions to it. It is honest and pure goodness, I never feel bad when making/reading/listening to them. And food. Food is amazing too. Luckily the world has got that right.
Well I'm feeling slightly more awake now so I think I'll go do some more homework. Sigh, such is life.