My conceptual Infinity.

Okay, so some of you might know that one of the concepts in a comic of mine (which I haven't drawn yet) is a concept called "Infinity".
I created the concept of infinity due to my belief that (at the time I made it) god shouldn't favour anything it creates over another thing it creates. Also, I thought that god should make sense and shouldn't confuse people, in the sense that it should want things of us without also giving us a reason.


The result:"Infinity"

"Infinity" is everything. It is everything and nothing at all times. It is constantly destroying and creating everything. It exists in all demensions and takes up all space and yet no space. It grows and shrinks at the same time. It contains all knowledge about everything.

Things about infinity:
1. It cannot have a point or a perspective on anything. It sees every possible perspective and hence it cannot be biased. Opinions can only be formed with some sort of bias. Therefor it cannot have an opinion.
2. It thinks about everything and yet it forgets everything constantly in the same instance.
3. In a sense infinity is more like a collection of everything and it doesn't really have a conscience or a conciousness. Conciousnesses exist within it, but it as a whole doesn't have a collective one.
4. Due to that it contains knowledge and thoughts, but it doesn't think.
5. Time exists within it and it controls the things within it. However time as a whole doesn't affect infinity. This is how its creation and destruction of things can come in waves in certain areas where time (that it created) is slowing itself down, yet somewhere else in Infinity time is probably getting faster.
6. Infinity isn't bound by the laws of the Universe, however the things it creates are. For example, Infinity isn't affected by gravity, however if it creates a planet, that planet will have a gravitational pull.
7. If infinity does bind itself through the laws of the universe, it can and will unbind itself from those laws. In addition it will simultaniously loosen those laws somewhere else within it.

Now I hope you have grasped that concept for the most part. This is how my brain made sense of how a biased god actually exists.
Step 1: Infinity creates something with a conciousness, they ability to create and the ability to survive live. It then creates space within Infinity where Infinity can't create or destroy things within it naturally (think of it like a barrier, if the barrier is broken then the space is subject to infinity's normal creation/destructive randomness). Then the Being that was created by infinity creates the rest of the universe how its biased self sees fit.

That is how I made sense of what I saw to be a flawed god. I actually really like the concept.

This made me happy

Frommy good friend Adrian:
"anyway bud, world is full of cynics who assume a positive outlook means you are just some stupid kid, you just gota prepare for trouble, make sure you ignore it all and do what you want, when you gotta family make it double, cause the person you are when you date should be who you stay, to protect your world from devestation.
Try not to be too offensive and unit all people within your nation not divide and create hate, because the bad that is found in truth and love is always better than living a lie, so extend your reach to the stars above and try and live life to the full at the speed of light with your positive outlook, just remember, when everything goes wrong don't surrender now prepare to fight
Meowth thats right"

So its official

Believe it or not, the new GF and I have broken up.

Yes. Officially.

Why?

She didn't really have time for a relationship.

Do I detect a sense of deja vu? (Rebecca and Max?)
Oh well. I guess this is life for you. When life gives you goodness, take it. When it gives you shit, take it graciously then discard it carefully when you're alone.

What do I feel? Well simply its a mix of disappointment due to not being able to do everything I envisioned and "Figures". Yes, I expected this somewhat. I knew as soon as she told me that she was so busy, I knew I'd never be able to spend time with her.
Which is why, stupidly, I texted her almost daily to see if I could see her.

The problem is, I really like her and I still want to get to know her better. She seems so cool and I know, if given the chance, we can be really good friends. (Or more than friends is what I hoped)

It's such a shame that time was what ended this. I really didn't want it to end this way. While I think at the moment I'd rather have had a massive fight, I know I'm not thinking rationally. But I'm not satisfied with this...

And that means its gonna be harder for me to get over this.

What does one do in this situation? Bite the bullet. Let it go and just continue with life. Life has this amazing tendency to give you enough to make you happy for awhile and then undermine it. When life gives you the finger, there is no point getting angry. You can't fight life. It'll only punish you. You've just gotta take it in your stride and continue.

My older sister believes that if the GF didn't have time for me and won't make time for me then she's not worth it. In a way I think she's right and yet at the same time, I think she's wrong.

I just hope that eventually the now Ex2 will still want me and then she'll have time for me and then all my hopes and plans won't got to waste.
Anyway, its late and I should sleep. I'll catch you all later.

Jonathan,
Signing out.

What we might not know about Charlie Sheen

Hey everyone, I've been watching a lot of Charlie Sheen interviews lately and several thoughts as to why he is acting the way he is came to me.

Here is the list:

1. His mind is actually programmed to run 4 times faster than normal people's minds. However this has caused him to be particularly spontanious and implusive due to the fact his mind hasn't been adjusted to be able to process all the stuff that comes out of his mouth.
2. He's secretly the love child of Chuck Norris and a tiger.
3. He's a super powered extraterestial from Mars, much like superman.
4. He's the Messiah of Scientology "I'm
5. He won "the game". "I'm Bi-Winning!"
6. He watched this and started mimicing Karl. (Two and a half Llamas)
7. He has a telepathic connection with the sun, who is controlling his mind due to the fact that its very lonely in space and the sun never really gets to party. This is the fuel for his "passion"
8. He's become addicted to video games
9. He drunk a can of powerthrist.
10. He's been having dreams that he's a fighter jet, and due to his lack of sleep he now can distingush between his dreams and reality. "I will destroy you in the air and deploy my ordanence to the ground" Perhaps he's made of biceps?

Charlie Sheen, your better on the net than you ever were on two and a half men.
Hope you life turns into the life you want it too.

Some more poetry

I find that whenever I get too tired depressing poetry seems really easy to write. So this if what I wrote yesterday night.

The New Love

His love's more fear than love,
His eyes show passion and pain.
He's loving cause he's hurting.
He's loving to feel sane.

He hasn't felt the same,
Since the first one walked away.
She walked off on rainbows,
His world's now filled with gray.

And so he loves me desperately.
He kisses me in haste,
He touches me softly, yet frantic,
Hoping this isn't a waste.

I know he's craving colour.
He wants his colour back.
She gingerly stole it from his heart,
And its slowly turning black.

And while I love this man,
I don't know what he sees.
Does he love me for me?
Or the fantasy he needs?


And to contrast my depressing one, a poem for hope.

I Want

I want a girl who knows me,
I want a girl who cares.
I want a girl whose interesting.
Who'll catch me unawares.

I want a girl who loves,
who'll hug me whenever she can,
who'll tell me that I'm lovely,
Who'll think that I'm her man.

Who'll tell me there is no one else,
Who'll show it through who she is,
Who'll tell me she wants to be my wife,
Who says that, for me, she loves.



For the record, I like the first one, but I think the second is rather rubbish. But its here.

When people say I love god, i say:

I was reading facebook recently and someone's post ended in "I love God!"
As per usual this got me thinking.
This is what I love:

I love the freedom to believe what I want to believe.

I love the freedom to find what I think is right and to follow it how I wish.

I love to be able to learn from others and form my own opinion of what is right and wrong.

I love questioning people about their beliefs and trying to get them to think about their spiritual position. (I don't do this in the hope of converting anyone, but rather to help them realise their own beliefs)

I love the feel of existing and the journey that is to find myself spiritually, emotionally and mentally.

I love being sure of something and finding things I consider true.

I love feeling the support of whatever I feel is out there. I feel that I'm part of it and I feel it supports everything, including me.

I love being able to decide that if I there is a god, i don't think it loves anything, nor feels such specific emotions. I also love the fact that I can come up with other theories, like an infinite source of everything which naturally creates and destroys things at random. If a god did exist, it'd have to be able to somewhat control the infinite source of everything, or at least harness it.

I like being able to consider alternate religions and being able to see the good in what a lot of people try to do with religion.

I love appreciating the world I live in and regardless of its origin(whether it was created or it just happened) I'm thankful I live in such a naturally beautiful world.

I love the fact that everyone is different and there is so much variation.

I love that certain people are similar and have things in common.

I love that the world is so complicated and detailed and yet I also love the simple things.

I love the ability to touch, smell, taste, hear and see all things (from a pile of dog shit to the most beautiful things in life)

I love the fact that good and evil are based upon perspective and that there are lots of shades of grey.

I love being about to feel emotions.

I love the people in my life.

I love being able to control myself and tolerate others.

I love being able to develop and change and be able to try and become the person I want to be.

I love that I can learn from my mistakes and hardship and the mistakes and hardship of others.

I love feeling satisfied.

I love the ability to love things.

I love the fact that I have been given both faults and talents.

I love the fact I'm not perfect, but I can strive to become better.

I love being able to think and to dream and to get caught up in my own thoughts.

Sometimes I love being able to do nothing and know that despite the fact I'm not doing anything, everything will be okay.

And you know what? I love being me and for the most part, I love who I am. (I don't really care if you don't like me the way I am, because a simple fact of life is that not everyone can get along)

Feeling pretty calm and peaceful,
Regards,
Jonathan

Optimistic Pessimism

Firstly I'd like to say that while I write this I"m drinking Malibo, which is delicious (coconut flavoured alcohol) mainly cause its weak and mum opened it and didn't like it.

Lately I realised that I've been saying one of my life mottos a lot. Its a pretty good motto and has helped me greatly in life.

Here it is: "Expect the worst, but hope for the best"

Now I said it, your probably wondering what this all means. This is what it boils down to.
Dream for the stars, try and reach them, but don't count on achieving them. Don't put all your eggs in one basket if your not prepared to let all the eggs break.
While it seems pretty bleak its a good rule.

It prevents you from overcommiting yourself to something emotionally, so if you happen to lose it it doesn't feel as though your entire world of blown up dreams is crashing down.

On the other hand it also makes you try and get the best you possibly can, because you hope you can do it and can see yourself trying to do it. When you do try, you work hard toward the highest goal you know you can attain and then you try and work higher.

However, if you fail, no harm done.

Works for jobs, life and relationships.

Regards,
Jon