So its official

Believe it or not, the new GF and I have broken up.

Yes. Officially.

Why?

She didn't really have time for a relationship.

Do I detect a sense of deja vu? (Rebecca and Max?)
Oh well. I guess this is life for you. When life gives you goodness, take it. When it gives you shit, take it graciously then discard it carefully when you're alone.

What do I feel? Well simply its a mix of disappointment due to not being able to do everything I envisioned and "Figures". Yes, I expected this somewhat. I knew as soon as she told me that she was so busy, I knew I'd never be able to spend time with her.
Which is why, stupidly, I texted her almost daily to see if I could see her.

The problem is, I really like her and I still want to get to know her better. She seems so cool and I know, if given the chance, we can be really good friends. (Or more than friends is what I hoped)

It's such a shame that time was what ended this. I really didn't want it to end this way. While I think at the moment I'd rather have had a massive fight, I know I'm not thinking rationally. But I'm not satisfied with this...

And that means its gonna be harder for me to get over this.

What does one do in this situation? Bite the bullet. Let it go and just continue with life. Life has this amazing tendency to give you enough to make you happy for awhile and then undermine it. When life gives you the finger, there is no point getting angry. You can't fight life. It'll only punish you. You've just gotta take it in your stride and continue.

My older sister believes that if the GF didn't have time for me and won't make time for me then she's not worth it. In a way I think she's right and yet at the same time, I think she's wrong.

I just hope that eventually the now Ex2 will still want me and then she'll have time for me and then all my hopes and plans won't got to waste.
Anyway, its late and I should sleep. I'll catch you all later.

Jonathan,
Signing out.

What we might not know about Charlie Sheen

Hey everyone, I've been watching a lot of Charlie Sheen interviews lately and several thoughts as to why he is acting the way he is came to me.

Here is the list:

1. His mind is actually programmed to run 4 times faster than normal people's minds. However this has caused him to be particularly spontanious and implusive due to the fact his mind hasn't been adjusted to be able to process all the stuff that comes out of his mouth.
2. He's secretly the love child of Chuck Norris and a tiger.
3. He's a super powered extraterestial from Mars, much like superman.
4. He's the Messiah of Scientology "I'm
5. He won "the game". "I'm Bi-Winning!"
6. He watched this and started mimicing Karl. (Two and a half Llamas)
7. He has a telepathic connection with the sun, who is controlling his mind due to the fact that its very lonely in space and the sun never really gets to party. This is the fuel for his "passion"
8. He's become addicted to video games
9. He drunk a can of powerthrist.
10. He's been having dreams that he's a fighter jet, and due to his lack of sleep he now can distingush between his dreams and reality. "I will destroy you in the air and deploy my ordanence to the ground" Perhaps he's made of biceps?

Charlie Sheen, your better on the net than you ever were on two and a half men.
Hope you life turns into the life you want it too.

Some more poetry

I find that whenever I get too tired depressing poetry seems really easy to write. So this if what I wrote yesterday night.

The New Love

His love's more fear than love,
His eyes show passion and pain.
He's loving cause he's hurting.
He's loving to feel sane.

He hasn't felt the same,
Since the first one walked away.
She walked off on rainbows,
His world's now filled with gray.

And so he loves me desperately.
He kisses me in haste,
He touches me softly, yet frantic,
Hoping this isn't a waste.

I know he's craving colour.
He wants his colour back.
She gingerly stole it from his heart,
And its slowly turning black.

And while I love this man,
I don't know what he sees.
Does he love me for me?
Or the fantasy he needs?


And to contrast my depressing one, a poem for hope.

I Want

I want a girl who knows me,
I want a girl who cares.
I want a girl whose interesting.
Who'll catch me unawares.

I want a girl who loves,
who'll hug me whenever she can,
who'll tell me that I'm lovely,
Who'll think that I'm her man.

Who'll tell me there is no one else,
Who'll show it through who she is,
Who'll tell me she wants to be my wife,
Who says that, for me, she loves.



For the record, I like the first one, but I think the second is rather rubbish. But its here.

When people say I love god, i say:

I was reading facebook recently and someone's post ended in "I love God!"
As per usual this got me thinking.
This is what I love:

I love the freedom to believe what I want to believe.

I love the freedom to find what I think is right and to follow it how I wish.

I love to be able to learn from others and form my own opinion of what is right and wrong.

I love questioning people about their beliefs and trying to get them to think about their spiritual position. (I don't do this in the hope of converting anyone, but rather to help them realise their own beliefs)

I love the feel of existing and the journey that is to find myself spiritually, emotionally and mentally.

I love being sure of something and finding things I consider true.

I love feeling the support of whatever I feel is out there. I feel that I'm part of it and I feel it supports everything, including me.

I love being able to decide that if I there is a god, i don't think it loves anything, nor feels such specific emotions. I also love the fact that I can come up with other theories, like an infinite source of everything which naturally creates and destroys things at random. If a god did exist, it'd have to be able to somewhat control the infinite source of everything, or at least harness it.

I like being able to consider alternate religions and being able to see the good in what a lot of people try to do with religion.

I love appreciating the world I live in and regardless of its origin(whether it was created or it just happened) I'm thankful I live in such a naturally beautiful world.

I love the fact that everyone is different and there is so much variation.

I love that certain people are similar and have things in common.

I love that the world is so complicated and detailed and yet I also love the simple things.

I love the ability to touch, smell, taste, hear and see all things (from a pile of dog shit to the most beautiful things in life)

I love the fact that good and evil are based upon perspective and that there are lots of shades of grey.

I love being about to feel emotions.

I love the people in my life.

I love being able to control myself and tolerate others.

I love being able to develop and change and be able to try and become the person I want to be.

I love that I can learn from my mistakes and hardship and the mistakes and hardship of others.

I love feeling satisfied.

I love the ability to love things.

I love the fact that I have been given both faults and talents.

I love the fact I'm not perfect, but I can strive to become better.

I love being able to think and to dream and to get caught up in my own thoughts.

Sometimes I love being able to do nothing and know that despite the fact I'm not doing anything, everything will be okay.

And you know what? I love being me and for the most part, I love who I am. (I don't really care if you don't like me the way I am, because a simple fact of life is that not everyone can get along)

Feeling pretty calm and peaceful,
Regards,
Jonathan

Optimistic Pessimism

Firstly I'd like to say that while I write this I"m drinking Malibo, which is delicious (coconut flavoured alcohol) mainly cause its weak and mum opened it and didn't like it.

Lately I realised that I've been saying one of my life mottos a lot. Its a pretty good motto and has helped me greatly in life.

Here it is: "Expect the worst, but hope for the best"

Now I said it, your probably wondering what this all means. This is what it boils down to.
Dream for the stars, try and reach them, but don't count on achieving them. Don't put all your eggs in one basket if your not prepared to let all the eggs break.
While it seems pretty bleak its a good rule.

It prevents you from overcommiting yourself to something emotionally, so if you happen to lose it it doesn't feel as though your entire world of blown up dreams is crashing down.

On the other hand it also makes you try and get the best you possibly can, because you hope you can do it and can see yourself trying to do it. When you do try, you work hard toward the highest goal you know you can attain and then you try and work higher.

However, if you fail, no harm done.

Works for jobs, life and relationships.

Regards,
Jon

The Balancing act - Management lesson

Life is all about balance. Right?
I've come to think that its less about balance and more about placement. "Placement?" you probably ask. "What do you mean by placement?"

Now for those of you who like tetris (I know there are a few) life is more like a game of tetris. Imagine that the tetris board is the amount of time you have and the pieces are the amount of activities you have or want to do. Whenever a new acitivity comes along you must fit it within the amount of time you have.

Ideally, I prefer to have things on. However I also like my relaxation time. I must fit both within my time. Not only that but household jobs, education commitments, social commitments and spending time with friends all clutter up my tetris board.

Thing is, I'm not very good at playing this kind of Tetris, as my pieces don't often offer a perfect fit, as I often forget things, turn up late, or have to cancel at the last minute.

This also means that sometimes I don't get to do things I want to do. Like draw or read or just bum around. These might not seem like much, but to me their very important. THey help me establish who I am creatively and my creativity is a huge part of who I am. Something i'm probably not giving enough time. (but holidays are also good to see friends and I've been doing that)

Speaking of which I had better fit sleep in there somewhere. Sleep is a magical little piece. It gets smaller on demand, with the occasional side effect of warping everything. But for the most part it's very handy.

This is one of the skills I need to work on this year. Getting better at organisational Tetris. Although it'll be easier once I get a job and start uni, I'mpretty sure for me, this is a difficult task.

Never the less, improving in this area is what this year is all about.
Wish me luck.

How to win at YuGiOh.

I’m doing this to prove how simple it is to become very good at YuGiOh.

To win at YuGiOh, or any other game, you’ve got to understand the way it is possible to win the game. In YuGiOh, to win you game you must reduce your opponent’s life points to zero. In order to do this you usually have to attack your opponent with a strong monster or constantly kill of their smaller monster with your bigger monster. (as you cannot attack you opponent while he has monsters on the field)
This leads to strategy number 1:

• HAVE A MASSIVE MONSTER THAT DOESN’T DIE, GET IT OUT ASAP and BEAT THEIR FACE IN!
This strategy is pretty straight forward. Find some way to special summon (cause no-one bothers normal summoning things these days) a creature stronger than any creature in your opponent’s deck and don’t let it die. (Try and find a creature that isn’t affected by spells or traps to make it even more indestructible). A really good Massive Monster deck wins on their first turn, so they’re opponent can’t do anything.

However, this strategy is often beaten by Control based strategies. These are usually the all rounder style strategies. This is due to the fact that control based strategies don’t rely heavily on having the monster with the highest attack, but rather have spells and traps that can easily deal with monsters. They are particularly good against Massive Monster strategies as most massive monsters in the game can be easily removed by a simple trap and leave your opponent defenseless and out of resources (they usually pour all their resources into getting out their massive creature). Control based strategies also rely on stopping your opponent’s spells and traps and often need cards like Mystical Space Typhoon to stop dying by a crushing trap or continuous magic card. However control strategies still need to get out some kind of large-ish creature to make sure that your opponent’s 4 star creatures can’t kill your creatures. When I turned my zombie deck into a controlling style strategy, I hardly ever lost a game. My win rate was about 9/10 games.

Another popular strategy is Combo based strategies. These strategies often rely on a few copies of very important cards, which, when combined are insanely strong. However, their biggest weakness is Control style decks, as the control decks are often able to remove the combo before the combo deck can pull it off. An example of a combo that works is a 2x Zombie Master/ Cannon Soldier deck which creates an infinite combo allowing you to sacrifice creatures indefinitely and deal damage to your opponent for every creature you sacrifice (winning you the game instantly).

Despite control style strategies being very powerful and flexible, Evasive decks can often evade control and death and win the game through creature abilities. A good example of this is the Rock based Flip decks, which use puny creatures in defense mode and prevent your opponent from attacking them or you. They stall using cards like Ordeal of the Traveller (which is SUPER STUPID OVERPOWERED) and Swords of Revealing light and then keep flipping up their monsters to return monsters to your hand and slowly kill you with direct damage. Evasive decks are particularly good because most monster killing cards only affect face up creatures. Because these creatures are in face down defense mode they can’t be killed by the control style cards. These decks are by far the toughest decks to beat, as they warp the typical way to win the game, so it no longer becomes a test of who is attacking with the best monster but instead is a test of whether or not the Evasive strategy can get itself going before it loses. After a certain time, these evasive decks become pretty much unbeatable, so watch out for them. Luckily cards like Nobelman of Crossout and Divine (punishment or judgment or something) stop these evasive decks from winning.

The second last strategy is relatively rare, but still used. It’s a Lock Down strategy. This strategy is basically playing a bunch of cards that prevent your opponent from playing any spells or traps and then stopping them from being able to stop you. The best way to combat these strategies is have Monsters that have abilities that kill your opponent’s monsters or remove them from the game.

The final strategy is very rare; it’s an Alternate Winning Condition strategy. These strategies rely on cards like Exodia, the Forbidden One and Final Countdown to let them able to win a different way from normal. The best way to counter this strategy is with some good spell and trap negating cards or kill your opponent quickly. They’re not bad against Evasive decks.


Just a general note: If you want to become a pro in YuGiOh, you’ve got to be committed and willing to spend lots of money. Just like a Car racer, it doesn’t matter how good the racer is, if he doesn’t have a car that’s up to scratch with the rest of the competition he simply will not be able to go as fast and will lose. This just like YuGiOh, if you are not willing to spend big money to buy the best cards, you will lose to decks with better cards. That’s just the sad fact. This is something I was never willing to do, as, after all they’re just piece of cardboard.